That Sickly Feeling

The mind refuses to forget
The heart orders "Feel"
The explosive emotions begin
I hear your voice
I remember
Remorse and questions devour me again
My chest tightens
A physical ache seizes me
Then
Slowly
Soundlessly
Tiresomely
Insignificantly
They fall
Tears of "Whys"
Tears of "Maybes"
Tears of "Buts"
Tears of "Hows"
Beats' slow
Breaths shorten
Memory travels
Time stops
Pain is initiated
Thoughts of denial envelop
Dreams are dreamt
Reality is fated
Things are no longer the same
Everything
Loses its previous course
The tears stop
The impassive shell emerges
Its time to sleep
The chest pains seize again
Toss and spin
Bed is no longer
A place of comfort
Alone
No one to share this pain
No one to give
What was dearly lost
The sun rises
It's another day
Everyone sees everything is alright
But who are they to see that?
Family?
Friends?
None
A fight bravest is fought unaccompanied